The Twisted Truth About Hugs: A Social Norm Worth Questioning

Hey boys and girls, ladies and gents—welcome back to The Twisted Truth with me, Corey Wesley. Grab your hot toddy because today, we’re tackling a topic as universal as it is awkward: hugs.

Are you a hugger? Do you thrive on that warm, fuzzy embrace? Or do you find yourself dodging arms like you’re in an intense game of dodgeball? Either way, we need to talk about the bizarre and often unspoken rules of hugging. Because let’s be real—it’s not always as comfortable as people pretend it is.

The Hugging Norm: A Social Expectation We Can't Escape

Hugs are supposed to be sweet, comforting, and natural, right? They're a default greeting at weddings, birthdays, emotional moments, and even awkward family gatherings. But here’s the thing—not everyone is a hugger.

Some people love their personal space. Some have been smothered by overenthusiastic grandmothers one too many times. And some just don’t know what to do in that split second before a hug happens (or doesn't). You know the moment I’m talking about—the “Are we hugging? Are we not?” dance, where both parties hesitate, bodies shifting awkwardly, like they’ve suddenly forgotten how limbs work.

The Different Species of Huggers

After experiencing my own recent hug disaster, I realized that not all huggers are created equal. So, I went ahead and ranked them. Welcome to my Hugability Rating System:

1. The Serial Hugger

This person will hug anyone, anytime, anywhere. They don’t care if you just met ten minutes ago or if you’re their third cousin twice removed. Hugging is their love language, and you, my friend, are simply their next target. Brace yourself.

2. The Close Friend Hugger

This hug is golden. No awkwardness, just pure warmth. The kind of hug that says, “I’ve got you. You’re safe. You’re my rock.” We all need a few of these in our lives.

3. The ‘Do I Know You?’ Hugger

This one is neutral. A hug that happens because it seems appropriate, but neither party is really sure why. It’s the handshake of hugs—polite but forgettable.

4. The No-Hugger

These people have mastered the art of personal space. If you come at them with open arms, they’ll find a way to escape—leaning back, offering a handshake, or pretending they suddenly need to check their phone. Respect their boundaries and move on.

5. The Accidentally Awkward Hugger

These well-meaning souls never get the hug right. They approach from the wrong angle, grip too tightly, or hold on too long. You walk away wondering, Was that a hug or an attempt to smother me?

Hug-Dodging 101: Mastering the Art of Avoidance

If you’re not a hugger, don’t worry—I’ve got you covered. Introducing Hug-Dodging 101, a set of foolproof techniques to escape unwanted embraces:

1. The Side-Step Shuffle

Just as the hugger moves in, pivot like you're dodging a bullet. Add a casual wave or a handshake to seal the deal.

2. The Quick Tap

If you must hug, make it brief. A two-second pat on the back while maintaining a safe distance. Think of it as the “diet” version of a hug.

3. The Hesitation Fake-Out

Start to move in like you might hug, then stop short. Keep one arm awkwardly raised like you just remembered something important. Congratulations, you’ve confused the hugger into retreating.

4. The Side-Hug Disaster

This is the nuclear option. If you have to hug, but want to make it weird, go for the side hug. You’ll both feel uncomfortable, and no one will want to try it again.

So Why Do We Keep Hugging?

At the end of the day, hugging is a social norm we can’t seem to shake—literally. We do it because it's expected, even when it feels cringeworthy. But maybe it's time to rethink the automatic hug. Maybe, just maybe, we should ask, "Do you actually want this hug?" before launching into an unsolicited embrace.

Thanks for tuning into The Twisted Truth. Hug or don’t—do whatever feels right for you. And remember, some social norms are worth questioning. See you next time!

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