The Twisted Truth: Open Relationships – Are They Really Open?

Daylight Savings Time is for the birds, but you know what? I’m still looking cute this morning. It’s 6:27 AM, y’all, and I’m inspired—feeling like Beyoncé in my t-shirt, ready to work, work, work. But let’s get into today’s topic, one that had me a little hesitant because, well, opinions. You know how it is—give a friend advice, and suddenly, you’re the bad guy. But here we are.

A friend of mine recently called, stressed out, because his partner asked to be in an open relationship. And my first thought? Oh boy, here we go.

Now, let’s be clear: I have no issue with open relationships for other people. If it works for you and your partner, go ahead. But for me? Hard pass. And let me tell you why.

The Reality of Open Relationships

See, I have companionship all around me. Friends, family, neighbors—even the nurses and aides at my mom’s nursing home have become like family. I’m never lacking connection. So to me, the one thing that separates a partner from everyone else is intimacy. And if that intimacy is shared with multiple people, well... what exactly makes them my partner?

I also don’t buy into this idea that sex is just an act. If that were the case, why do so many folks in open relationships set rules like no kissing or no repeat partners? Clearly, there’s something emotional happening. And let’s not even start with the classic excuse—“It just happened.” Honey, you knew you were unzipping that zipper. Stop playing.

But back to my friend. When he asked for my advice, I told him straight: if your partner is asking for an open relationship now, something is already off. It’s rarely just about sex. It’s about unmet needs, misalignment, or—let’s be real—someone trying to have their cake and eat it too.

The Dating DNA Theory

Now, let’s talk about what I call Dating DNA. Everyone has a set of patterns, preferences, and desires that shape how they date. My friend’s partner? He had been deep in the leather and bondage scene for years. But now, suddenly, he was willing to suppress that part of himself? Chile, please. That’s like saying you’re gonna stop eating carbs forever—maybe for a while, but that craving is coming back.

Sure enough, a few months later, my friend called me crying. Turns out, his man had been creeping—handcuffs, leather, the whole nine. And the worst part? Now, the guy wanted to officially open the relationship.

This is why I tell people: if you’re in an open relationship, both of you need to be truly aligned. Not one person compromising just to keep the other happy. Because when someone agrees to something they don’t really want, resentment builds. And then? Boom—drama.

What Does “Open” Really Mean?

If you have to sneak around in an open relationship, is it really open? Some people in open relationships don’t even tell the people they’re sleeping with that they have a partner. Others treat their side hookups like transactions—no conversation, no connection, just do the deed and go.

And then there’s the tricky part: repeated partners. If you’re seeing someone regularly in an open relationship... isn’t that a whole other relationship? Where’s the line?

That’s why, for me, it’s a no. If I have a partner, I don’t want to be out here doing mental gymnastics about what’s “allowed.” I need clarity, commitment, and real intimacy. If you want to “explore,” do your thing—just don’t expect me to be waiting at home.

Final Thoughts: Know Your Truth

At the end of the day, the key to any relationship—open or not—is honesty. If you’re considering an open relationship, ask yourself:

✅ Are you truly okay with your partner being with someone else?
✅ Are you both on the same page, or is one of you just agreeing to keep the peace?
✅ Is this about freedom, or is it a band-aid for a deeper issue?

If you can’t answer those questions honestly, then maybe it’s not the relationship that needs adjusting—it’s the communication.

So to my friend, and to anyone dealing with this: Stand firm in your truth. If an open relationship isn’t for you, say that. If it is, make sure you and your partner are playing by the same rules. Because if it’s not truly open, someone’s getting played.

And with that, I’ll sign off like I always do: Stay blessed, believe in yourself, love yourself, and trust yourself. Now, go ahead and send this to that friend who needs to hear it. You know who they are. 😉

Are open relationships truly open, or is someone always getting played? Discover the truth about love, commitment, and dating dynamics in this unfiltered discussion.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here: https://www.thetwistedtruthpod.com/the-truth-about-open-relationships-what-no-one-wants-to-admit/

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/dMnu0EUq2To