The Type Trap: Are You Attracted to the Wrong People?

Welcome back to The Twisted Truth with Corey Wesley! If you tuned into my latest episode, you already know we got deep—real deep—into the question so many of us avoid: Are we actually attracted to the wrong people?

The Type Trap: When Attraction Becomes a Cycle

We all have a "type," right? That go-to look, personality, or energy we gravitate toward, even when we know—deep down—it hasn’t worked for us in the past. So why do we keep going back? Why do we chase the same kind of person, expecting a different result?

I had this conversation recently with a friend who asked me about my love life (because apparently, people love being in other people's business). He wanted to know what my type was, and honestly, I had to sit with that question for a second. Because my type? Well… it hasn’t exactly been working out.

And here’s the twisted truth: sometimes we’re not just attracted to a certain type—we’re stuck in a pattern. And that pattern might be keeping us from real love.

Unpacking Attraction: Is It Preference or Conditioning?

For me, I've always been drawn to a particular kind of guy—the all-American type (you know what that means). But looking back, I started to wonder if my attraction was actually rooted in something deeper: a desire for validation, acceptance, or even power.

Let’s be real—sometimes we choose people not because they’re good for us, but because they give us access to something we think we need. Maybe it’s status, excitement, or even just the illusion of connection. But if that attraction keeps leading to dead ends, then we have to ask the hard question: Is our type actually toxic for us?

And let’s talk about unmet needs for a second. I spent years in therapy trying to understand why I was drawn to certain kinds of men, and my therapist hit me with something that stuck: You’re trying to fill an emotional gap that’s been there since childhood. Whew. That one took me a minute to process. But it made sense—our past shapes our present, even when we don’t realize it.

Breaking Free from the Cycle

So, what do we do when we realize our type isn’t serving us? First, we have to acknowledge the pattern. Take a real, unfiltered look at your past relationships (or situationships—because let’s be honest, sometimes we’re just collecting gentlemen callers). Ask yourself:

• Have my relationships been fulfilling?
• Do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable people?
• Do I feel valued and respected in these relationships?
• Am I truly attracted to this type, or am I seeking something else—validation, comfort, or control?

If your type hasn’t been working for you, maybe it’s time to rewrite the list. And listen, I’m talking to myself just as much as I’m talking to you.

The Hardest Truth: Are You Ready for Something Different?

Here’s the thing—when a different kind of person comes along, we hesitate. We say, Oh, he’s too soft or He’s too nice—as if kindness and stability are flaws. Meanwhile, we’re out here chasing bad boys, heartbreakers, and emotional roller coasters like it’s our full-time job.

But ask yourself: How’s that been working out for you?

If you’re still single and still chasing the same type, maybe—just maybe—it’s time to step out of your comfort zone. Open yourself up to something new. Rewrite the script.

Final Thoughts: Love Yourself First

At the end of the day, whether you're single by choice (like me) or looking for love, the most important thing is this: Trust yourself, love yourself, and believe in yourself. When you do that, you stop seeking validation from the wrong places—and you start attracting people who see your worth.

So, do yourself a favor: Take out a piece of paper and write down your type. Then next to it, be brutally honest—has this been working? If the answer is mostly no, it might be time for a change.

And when someone asks you, Why are you still single? just hit them with my go-to response:

"I've met many worthy of my affection, but no one worthy of my love."

Stay blessed, because you already are. And until next time, keep questioning the twisted truths in your life.

— Corey Wesley
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🎧 Watch & Listen: The Twisted Truth Podcast – The Type Trap 🎙️

If this post got you thinking, you need to check out the full episode of The Twisted Truth with Corey Wesley! We go even deeper into the dating patterns that keep us stuck, the hard truths about attraction, and how to finally break free.

👉 Listen or watch now: The Type Trap – Are Your Dating Preferences Holding You Back?

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