Trust Your Gut: The Ultimate Dating Survival Guide

Welcome back, my beautiful, brilliant, and sometimes beautifully messy humans! It’s your boy, Corey Wesley, here to bring you another dose of Twisted Truth—where we sip, spill, and sometimes swallow the reality that life throws at us. Now, before we dive in, let me just say: if y’all know any liquor brands looking for a fabulous spokesperson, tell them to hit me up! Because tonight, I’m sipping on something called Kinky (the pink version, of course), and let me tell you—it’s a mood.

Now, let’s talk about something a little stronger than cocktails: your gut instinct. That little voice inside you that whispers (or sometimes screams), something ain’t right. Too often, we ignore it, second-guess it, or try to convince ourselves that maybe—just maybe—we’re overreacting. But let me tell you something right now: your gut is your best friend. It is your guardian angel in the dating trenches. And my dear friend’s recent dating disaster is Exhibit A of why you should always, always trust it.

The Red Flags Were Waving Like a Beyoncé Concert

So, my friend—let’s call him X—has been working hard on his sobriety (claps for that 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾), and he’s finally dipping his toe back into the dating pool. But let’s be real—this ain’t no peaceful little wading pool. This is shark-infested waters. He reconnects with a guy from the past who, out of nowhere, pops back up saying, I miss you. (Classic.)

Now, X—being in his “Year of Yes” (aka open to new possibilities, new energies, and maybe even new love)—decides to meet up. But the moment they reconnect, the gut feelings start kicking in.

🚩 Red Flag #1: The guy was ghost town for over a year, and now he’s suddenly reappearing like a Netflix reboot. Suspicious.

🚩 Red Flag #2: A little detective work (shoutout to me, the unofficial FBI agent of my friend group) revealed that this man might have a live-in boyfriend. Now, could it have been an old roommate’s name still on the lease? Maybe. But maybe not.

🚩 Red Flag #3: My friend makes it clear: I am sober. I do not party. That life is behind me. And yet, mid-hookup, this man starts asking about party favors. Excuse me?! Sir, did your ears malfunction? That right there is not just a red flag—it’s a whole emergency siren.

🚩 Red Flag #4: The infamous “my cat needs me” excuse. Look, I may not be a pet person, but even I know that a cat will be just fine for a few more hours. That man wasn’t rushing home to Mr. Whiskers. He was rushing home to Mr. Man Waiting Up for Him.

🚩 Red Flag #5: The phone rings twice while he’s in the bathroom. And when my friend casually mentions it, the man’s response is “Who could that be?” Oh honey, we know exactly who that is. It’s giving somebody’s man is checking in.

When Someone Shows You Who They Are, Believe Them

At this point, my friend had enough evidence to start his own courtroom case. But did he need to put this man on trial? No. Because the gut had already spoken. Too often, we look for extra proof when we already know the truth. My friend didn’t need this man to admit he had a boyfriend. The behavior said it all. And even if—by some miracle—he was actually single, one thing was crystal clear:

🔹 He didn’t listen.
🔹 He didn’t respect boundaries.
🔹 He didn’t align with my friend’s values.

And baby, that is enough.

How to Exit with Grace and a Little Bit of Petty (But Not Too Much)

Now, my friend was tempted to send a shady text—something along the lines of, Glad you got home safely! Hope your boyfriend (oops, I mean your cat) is well-fed! I mean, iconic. But unnecessary. Instead, I helped him craft a message that was mature, firm, and let this man know exactly where he stood:

Hey, enjoy your overseas trip. When you get back, I’d like to have a serious conversation about a few things, particularly partying. That’s simply not part of my life anymore, and I have no interest in revisiting it. My focus is on my sobriety, and I need to be with someone who respects that. We should discuss this further when you return to ensure we’re aligned, because if not, this may not work. Also, I want to clarify where things stand regarding your relationship status—I’m not entirely convinced. Let’s talk when you’re back.

And then?

🚪 BLOCK.

Listen, blocking is not immature. It is self-care. It is energy protection. It is saying, I choose me. You do not owe anyone continued access to your life—especially someone who has already disrespected your boundaries.

The Twisted Truth: Your Gut Is Your Superpower

At the end of the day, dating is a game. And in any game, the best players aren’t the ones who second-guess themselves. They’re the ones who trust their instincts. When your gut is whispering (or shouting) that something’s off, don’t wait for confirmation—just walk away. The universe, God, your ancestors—whoever you believe in—gave you that internal alarm system for a reason.

And let’s be clear: This is not about being bitter, jaded, or distrusting everyone. This is about honoring yourself enough to know that if something doesn’t sit right, you do not need to explain, debate, or negotiate. You just need to trust it.

So the next time your gut tells you something ain't right?

🗣️ Listen.

🚶🏾‍♂️ Walk away.

🔒 Block if necessary.

And most importantly—thank your gut for having your back.

Now, if you know someone who needs to hear this message, send them this blog post. Let them sip this tea, reflect on their own situation, and trust themselves a little more.

Until next time, stay blessed, stay fabulous, and remember: you already have the answers—you just need to trust them.

Cheers! 🥂